🔗 Share this article

The current period marks a full decade since the phrase “ghosting” hit the public consciousness. At the time, the idea that someone could suddenly stop communication with a lover without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, seeking a significant other has only become more confounding – an frequently unsuccessful pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by social media slang.

Generation Z, a cohort who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a coordinated challenge on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their Gen Y elders could ever envision. And so their dating lexicon has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a extensive glossary to the phrases gen Z is using to navigate love, intimacy and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

---

A

Authenticity – For gen Z, romance's ideal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is engaged or disinterested. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while oozing mystery and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

C

Chair theory – This refers to going for someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A date where two people form a link while doing chores, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do affordable romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes pairs who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of being guarded: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Such as calling their former partners unstable, poor gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks affirm your decision to pursue a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same stuff or people that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than having a common enemy).

G

Geese – A band many young men likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An ideal championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that instantly kill any sense of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic gesture.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {